you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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