Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize