so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize