Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
