I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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