eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
