woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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