Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
