im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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