I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
