that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
