we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
