Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
did i walk over a car last night?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
