maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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