im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
