I hate your face
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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