The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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