i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize