I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
