I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
