Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We're too hungover to prance.
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