I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
