Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
