The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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