YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You made out with two different species that night
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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