you guys were way drunker than both of me
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
