Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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