I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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