marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
