so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
