I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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