he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
