So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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