awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He did a backflip because drugs
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