I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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