So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
