Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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