The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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