When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
