She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
