I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
