So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
