it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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