I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
