I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize