yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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