I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i think i just lost a toe
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
