Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize