Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
