I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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