How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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