Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
