I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
