Cold hands, warm shart.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize