i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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