State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
