he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
