just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize