what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
