You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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