We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
