Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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