So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
