You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just gargled with NyQuil
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
