Define "chronic" masturbator.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
