Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize