i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
