So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
