I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize