i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
