I showed him my bush... on skype.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
