is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize