i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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