Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
