I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
one two three fourrrrnication!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
